Acceptance Speech

I've never written an acceptance speech for anything, and well boy was I surprised last week when Chuck Allen bestowed upon me The Versatile Blogger Award.

This award is allegedly for those adroit bloggers who can leap around the page with ease and variety. Well I don't think I cover a vast array of topics here worthy of this award, but Chuck felt that the flash fiction pieces I post most Fridays show enough dexterity that he thought of me when nominating others.

I am very honored that he thought of me, and now in accordance with the rules of "The Versatile Blogger Award" I must list 7 things you probably didn't know about me and then some other bloggers deserving of this distinction.

1: I've recently begun wearing a fedora. My lovely wife found one for super cheap at the store, asked me to wear is (I think just to see how ridiculous I looked) and boom, it worked. So now I'm a member of that cool club of fedora hat wearers. I like my hat...perhaps I'll post a pic at some point.

2: My second toe is longer than my big toe. I always thought that was kinda cool because it made me unique, but then I started running marathons. As it turns out, running shoes are not designed for this, and after 26.2 miles, I tend to get pretty bad blisters on those toes and under the nail. This lifts up the nail and eventually kills it. So now my freakish toes are even more freakish as half of the year there is no real toenail on them.

3: I have a pretty large garden on my balcony. I've got plants in 5 gallon buckets, planters, milk jugs, and even a salsa container. When you don't have a yard of your own, you just have to bring the yard up to you. I hope to have a pretty good harvest this year and I'm already seeing one of my promising banana pepper plants popping out a pretty good pepper. (say that 6 times fast).

4: I once promised my wife I'd take her to a hockey game if she took me to the ballet. Yes, she likes hockey and I like dancing. We have a strange relationship and that's just how it is. I like to think that all the girls are jealous of her that she has a husband that wants to go dancing all the time, and I know I have some guy friends who are mad at me for "using up" one of the few girls that like auto racing and hockey when I don't have too much of an interest in them.

5: I'm afraid of sock puppets. Yes, you read that right. For some reason they just freak me out. Other people are afraid of clowns, well I honestly don't see how this is much different...creepy things. Ick.

6: I might soon be invested in a rock band. My wife and I are friends with some members of Key to Chaos and we think they are pretty awesome. So while they struggle with finding the money to record an album, we're talking about staking them with some of our own cash. Risky investment, but could be a pretty fun one, and we'd be helping out some friends.

7: I hate lawns. Prepare for a long and possibly offensive rant on this one. I think people who have a huge lot in the suburbs in which they build their big ass house and then cover that acre or so of land with grass is just the stupidest thing ever. First off, in most cases you'll spend more time mowing the damn thing and fertilizing it, and watering it, and doing all kinds of crap with it then you will ever spend enjoying it for recreation. You might as well just hop on your bike and go to the nearest park whenever you get the itch the throw the ball around. So not only is it useless, but then when you also consider that it sucks up for the average American family, 60 GALLONS OF WATER DAY in watering, you can see that it is a useless bother that sucks up valuable resources. I mean, seriously, you're going to do all of this just so that you can prove to all your friends how much extra money and time you have (which is why lawns came into being...as a status symbol of wealth) Well I've got three words and one swear for you. Buy a fucking Porsche. Get out of the 18th century. But then 'what will I do with my yard?' you'll say. Well, if you want fresh produce just out your door, you can plant an edible garden. But if that's not your style you could instead plant a garden of native plants and wildflowers. Not only are they resistant to whatever droughts your particular region is accustomed to, but they also generally choke out most typical weeds and don't need much maintenance. Oh, and then when I'm out and about in the 'burbs and it just so happens to be raining out, I'll typically see these stupid ass people with their irrigation systems WATERING THEIR LAWN DURING A RAIN STORM. Seriously, if you're too lazy to flip a switch when you think you need to water your status symbol, then you shouldn't be allowed to have one. Automatic timers on irrigation systems...what a complete waste...and end rant.

Now that you've made it past that, here are four other bloggers whom I feel deserve this award as well.

First would be Raven Corinn. Her worlds and ability to take the fantasy genre and keep bending, keep morphing it into her own unique style makes me instantly think she deserves this award. Plus, for some of her pieces she doesn't even need to type a single word! Handwritten stories scanned onto a blog. Awesome stuff.

Second would be Rachel McClellan. Her blog contains a wide array of topics useful to writers from tips on craft, to contests, and even the occasional musing post. Yet all of it ties in well with her style and keeps you wanting to come back for more.

Third, I have to mention Sonia G Medeiros. Again, great posts on craft, the life of a writer, and random musings. I've really taken her idea of morning pages and (tried with some success as long as my laziness doesn't get in the way) and seen it work really well.

Finally, I come to Jessica Lei. You want to talk about versatile, here is a woman who mixes craft, publishing, contests, and daily musings into a seamless blog. It's still a pretty new blog, but I have a feeling she will be getting a lot of attention as the snowball grows.

Congrats to everybody, and please wear this badge with much honor :)