Friday, July 1, 2011

Platamel

When you wife demands you write a story about a hybrid animal that is a cross between a platypus and a camel...well you take that in stride and see what you can come up with.

    “I can’t give that to you. Anything else, but not that.”
    “What else do you have that’s worth a damn?”
    “I...I don’t know, but you can’t have it.”
    “Do you have the money then?”
    “No. But it wasn’t a fair bet.”
    “Really now? What wasn’t fair about it?”
    “You knew what was going to happen. You knew for a fact, and you still made the bet. That’s just wrong.”
    “That’s good business sense.”
    “But you can’t make a bet on something you have inside knowledge of.”
    “Well I did, I won, and I’m here to collect.”
    “Take anything else from my zoo, but please, not the Platamel. It’s the only thing that keeps people coming.”
    “Yea, I know. It’s the only thing of value. That’s why I’m taking it, idiot.”
    “You’ve always been like that haven’t you? Ever since we were kids. I create something wonderful, and you take it away.”
    “Sure, you created something cool, but then you pissed it away be being stupid. I mean seriously, why do you ever make a wager with me anyways?”
    “Because I think that my cousin will play fair with me, that’s why.”
    “First of all, we’re second cousins. And can’t you just create some other abomination freak to attract people to this sorry excuse for a zoo.”
    “What if I refuse to give him to you?”
    “Oh yea, that’s why I brought this.”
    “Alright, I’ll get you the damn platamel. I’ll mix something even better this time though, you’ll see.”
    “Yea, I’ll see it and find a way to take it from you.”
    “You’ll see. If you thought mixing the DNA of a platypus and camel was amazing...I’ll do a crocodile and a moose! And then if you try to take it away, it’ll bite your hand off and run you over, because it’ll weigh over 800 kilos.”
    “And when that time comes, I’ll put it in a truck and haul it away...cousin.”
    “You go do that. Go get your stupid platamel and get out of here.”
    “Any advice?”
    “He bites.”

9 comments:

John Wiswell July 1, 2011 at 9:35 AM  

As though the platypus needed to be crossed with any more critters! May it swallow her whole, then come on back as a man-eating attraction.

Tony Noland July 1, 2011 at 9:55 AM  

Ha! I've been to some roadside attractions that would have benefits from this kind of DNA splicing.

ibc4 July 1, 2011 at 11:19 AM  

Challenge accepted and defeated!
How did you take that in your stride?
Have you been spliced with something?
Excellent little piece. Bravo.

Sonia Lal July 1, 2011 at 3:02 PM  

the platpus is odd enough all by itself - it doesn't need any help. lol good story!

Danielle La Paglia July 1, 2011 at 10:12 PM  

I like John's idea! It was an excellent use of dialogue only, though! What did the wife think?

Helen July 1, 2011 at 11:00 PM  

Ha ha very well done! I was thinking if you cross a
crocodile and a moose will it become a crocoose?

:)

Michael A Tate July 2, 2011 at 9:52 AM  

John: God's joke just became man's joke as well.

Tony: True, but you don't need DNA splicing. Just imagine the world's largest ball of twine mixed with a house made entirely of mud...

ibc4: She liked it although said I misspelled platamel. Thanks

Sonia: True that.

Danielle: Thanks. I really wanted to see if I could find a way to get the image across without description or a 'as you know' moment. That was hard.

Helen:I think crocoose would be about right. Thanks.

Icy Sedgwick July 2, 2011 at 10:33 AM  

Wouldn't a platamel spit rather than bite? And is it like a platypus and actually poisonous? Oh so many possibilities! Do a girattlesnake (giraffe/rattler) next!

Chuck Allen July 4, 2011 at 8:18 PM  

Ha ha! A platamel. I'd probably go see that. I'm a sucker for a unique zoo. Great job with this one, Michael. No description and yet the reader has no job imagining this creature.

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